Jesus and Football

Over at http://www.photoblog.com/dadlak I posted a picture of two paintings I saw side-by-side on the wall of Arzi's Restaurant in Baton Rouge. When I took the shot and noted that such an arrangement would only be seen in Baton Rouge, I also thought, "this would make a good song." Well, here are the paintings and the song. You can decide how good the song is.

Jesus and Football
By dadlak

In a local Lebanese restaurant
On the wall above our booth
I saw three shepherds quaking,
And a tiger with a very long tooth.
The shepherds they were dazzled
By the light from a faraway star.
Giant tiger climbed out of a stadium
Threatening a hundred parked cars.

Chorus

Jesus and football
Jesus and football
Crosses along I-10
Jesus and football
Jesus and football
Coach’ s pearly-gated mansion
Jesus and football
Jesus and football
Our saviors; the holiest two
Jesus and football
Jesus and football
All you need to know ‘bout Baton Rouge.

Verse

The tiger’s eyes were shining
At the thought of opponent’s blood
In his ears, the cheers were ringing
Tiger bait would be his food.
A shepherd knelt beside a white lamb
The mighty tiger roared
The gathered eyes were awestruck
As they gazed upon the face of their lord

Verse

Could it be the second coming?
Could the star denote the one?
It certainly wasn’t Nick Satan
Les Miles is God’s true son.

Chorus

Jesus and football
Jesus and football
Worship seven and half past ten
Jesus and football
Jesus and football
Pray for a touchdown again
Jesus and football
Jesus and football
Our saviors, the holiest two
Jesus and football
Jesus and football
All you need to know ‘bout Baton Rouge

Repeat Chorus

Jesus and football
Jesus and football
Our legislature plays the game
Jesus and football
Jesus and football
We bow at the coach’s name
Jesus and football
Jesus and football
Our saviors, the holiest two
Jesus and football
Jesus and football
All you need to know ‘bout Baton Rouge
Where have you gone, Ryan Perilloux?
Ah - men

Karaoke in the Big City

I was in New York City late last month on a Monday night. To my delight the Tonic Bar, just four short blocks from my hotel, offered Karaoke from 10 ‘til 2:30 a.m on Sunday and Monday nights. I showed up at the crack of ten and made my first request.

Unlike Daiquiri Café in Baton Rouge, Tonic’s show did not have a regular crowd. Maybe that’s the nature of Times Square. It also didn’t have a cloud of smoke, thanks to NYC’s “no smoking in public buildings” law. It did, however, have a talented host (other than his annoying habit of playing "tasty videos" between songs), extremely talented bartender/singer Toni Dolce (see picture) and another waitress/singer who was also very good.

With such a limited cast of singers, I got a personal record number of NINE singing opportunities. I fought the urge to sing ten-minute anthems such as “Like a Rolling Stone” or “American Pie”, figuring I’d be better off to limit my exposure to three or four minutes at a time.

Below is my “set list”. Order is approximate, except for first and last.

Ballad of Curtis Loew, Lynyrd Skynyrd – I had a hard time finding the quiet opening, but otherwise good – one of the band’s lesser known gems

Paperback Writer, The Beatles – repetitive, high ending difficult – I wanted to do Dear Prudence, but the DJ didn’t have it, despite it being in the book.

And It Stoned Me, Van Morrison – host liked it – “oh the water” is pretty high, but I think I survived

House of the Rising Sun, The Animals – got a “high five” on this one – I chose this one because of the vocal range—plenty low, unlike the previous two.

Joy to the World, Three Dog Night – the ending is longer and more repetitive than I remember—though I recall it fondly as one of my first onstage triumphs at a company Christmas party.

Come Monday, Jimmy Buffett – overall good effort – another great song that’s hard to screw up. One of my top two of the night along with House of the Rising Sun.

Cover of the Rolling Stone, Dr. Hook – maybe my weakest number—I was lost on the spoken parts.

Birdhouse in Your Soul, They Might Be Giants – fun song; did better with verses than choruses; the opening segment was also too tricky – I’ll try this one the next time in Baton Rouge. I tried to catch the locals' attention by calling this song a "tribute to Brooklyn", but apparently no one in Manhattan Karaoke bars cares about Brooklyn.

Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters, Elton John – not bad for singing at about 2:25 a.m. – I waited a long time to sing this one—went better than my Baton Rouge version—still a little high for my voice.

Crowd response was modest at best. Another patron/singer and her boyfriend were very nice. He gave me a muted high five after Rising Sun. A crew of the young and drunk that showed up later on cheered for each other, but for no one else. The bartender always got a nice hand because she was so good.

Drink service was strange. No one offered me anything for a good 15 minutes after I sat down. Finally I got a coke, but no one collected for it. Later when a spot opened at the bar I moved there and got served another coke. For awhile I thought it was gratis, but eventually the male bartender collected $3. I tried to strike up conversations with the bartenders with no success--maybe I wasn't drinking enough to be worth their time, though I was contributing heavily to the evening's entertainment. Maybe it was their unspoken assessment of my singing, which I didn't think was too bad--not up to the level of the staff, but still equal to or better than the other amateur performers.

Tonic serves as a sports bar the other five nights of the week. It was replete with big TVs on which I watched the end of one NBA game and an entire game from the West Coast, including the postgame show.

Still, in Karaoke what counts is being able to sing and to breathe. For nine songs and no smoke, Tonic Bar Karaoke at 7th Ave. and 49th St. in Manhattan gets high marks.

Even More Marketing - Entries in Theme Song Contest for NPR's "All Things Considered" Radio Program

National Public Radio's "All Things Considered", which was my favorite radio program even before they read my recent e-mail about parallels between the Iraq War and the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan, is conducting a contest to choose lyrics for their theme song. The music was written in 1973 and has remained lyricless and lonely since then.

Submissions can be sung or entered by e-mail. I did some of both.

Here's my own choice as my best entry because it shares some of my personal connection to the program. I sang this one into NPR's answering machine at 202-898-2395.

"As I drive home in

Rush hour traffic

All Things Considered

Keeps me sane."

Here's a link where you can hear the tune. As you can imagine, it's not very complicated.

http://www.npr.org/templates/dmg/popup.php?id=12677141&type=7&date=&au=1&pid=13140557&random=1000246567&guid=00091FB91A1306CE4BF507C561626364&uaType=WM,RM&aaType=RM,WM&upf=Win32&topicName=Opinion&subtopicName=Listeners&prgCode=ATC&hubId=-1&thingId=12677130&tableModifier=&mtype=WM

Here are two more entries of the more generic variety.

"N P R's

All Things Considered

News and Views

You Need to Know"

and

"All Things Considered

Every weekday

On National Public

Ra - di - o"

Let me know what you think. Do I have a chance?

For all you NPR fans, here's the link where you can enter the contest.

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=12677130

Look for the Submit Your Lyrics subhead.