Carried inexorably by that great steaming beast of hope and lured by the irresistible pull of a bargain, Lars and Ingrid trekked doggedly across the seemingly endless land, enduring countless, nearly unspeakable hardships (the unscheduled closure of the famous Wall Drug Store in South Dakota--not mentioned in any travel guide or website--being foremost, although for Ingrid their inability to enjoy a simple roadside picnic lunch in the relentness Kansas wind would run a close second), naively unaware of the ultimate and even more horrifying price they would pay at their destination--attending a sales presentation for a timeshare vacation property, only after which would they receive heavily discounted tickets to Disneyland, a promotion that in itself would in time reveal even more disappointing surprises.
Just as Mickey's mouth launched a dewy louie, Minnie mouthed "Donald, duck!" (carefully avoiding consonants that would reveal her lisp), then hissed "Hooey!" as the projectile cleared her blue-hatted friend and headed, sparkling like evening fireworks, toward the crowd, even though it was only late afternoon on Main Street, U.S.A.
Purple Prose (bad similes)
The contest is sponsored by the Department of English and Comparative Literature at San Jose State University. Here's the winning entry from the 2006 contest, written by Jim Guigli of Sacramento, CA.
Detective Bart Lasiter was in his office studying the light from his one small window falling on his super burrito when the door swung open to reveal a woman whose body said you've had your last burrito for a while, whose face said angels did exist, and whose eyes said she could make you dig your own grave and lick the shovel clean.